Jewish Jokes

The rabbi and his wife were cleaning house. He discovered a box he had never seen before. Instantly his wife said, "Leave that box alone. It is private." Later when the rabbi's wife was out of the house, his wonderment about the box overcame him. So he opened it and discovered 3 eggs and $3,000 dollars! When his wife got home, the rabbi confessed he looked in the box, and asked if she would explain it's contents. His wife said, "Every time you teach a bad Torah lesson, I put an egg in the box." The rabbi jumped in. In 22 years only three bad sermons, not bad!" His wife continued, " And then when I get a dozen eggs I sell them for a dollar!"

Yoseph and Miriam were excited about getting to meet their daughter's fiance'. So Mrs. Goldberg told her husband, "Go and find out what Ya'akov is like." Mr. Goldberg goes to see Ya'akov. "So, Ya'akov, my son, what is it you do to make a living?" Ya'akov replies, "I study Torah. The Torah teaches that GOD will provide." But, Ya'akov, you will be marrying my daughter. How will you keep her fed, clothed and housed?" Ya'akov replies, "I study Torah. The Torah teaches that GOD will provide." But, Ya'akov," Mr. Goldberg continues, "You will have children. How will you provide for them and their education?" "I study Torah. The Torah teaches that GOD will provide, " responds Ya'akov. So Mr. Goldberg goes home and is instantly asked by his wife, Miriam, "So, what is Ya'akov like?" Mr. Goldberg replies, "I just met the young man and he seems likable enough. In fact, he thinks I am GOD!"

Those are great!